BDSM Question: Do fantasies & fetishes go away? Is there a cure?

BDSM Questions & Answers: Do fantasies & fetishes go away? Is there a cure to my fetish?

This too shall pass, or will it?
 
QUESTION:
Do fantasies and fetishes go away if you don't indulge them, is there a cure? 
 
ANSWER:
I can answer this simply by saying, "No Known Cure." 
 
I'll elaborate by also saying there are quite a few fetishes, some "main stream" and some quite unusual. Take for instance the need for a sharp needle-heel through your penis, or a toe resting right on your eye ball? We don't know why some people are more susceptible to having a fetish, while others are not susceptible at all.
 
Having a fetish in your life complicates things because a high percentage of the time, you've just got to hide it. It's not normal for most people to even hear about it, much less watch or participate with someone in their true element of fetish. Early on, people find out it isn't acceptable for a man to cross dress as a woman or be obsessed about feet, so they hide that piece of themselves. They have to.
 
I'll give you a good example. In my (just barely) 25 years of experience, I've talked to many people about their fetish and one of them is crossdressing. I'll use that as an example. There's a thing many crossdressers do when they're into crossdressing, they always do it and it's called "purging." One day they rationalize that this is not acceptable and will never be acceptable, so they make up their minds to be "normal." Normal dressing, normal sex, no "frillies" to turn them on, just hot normal sex dammit! They go through their trunks, storage units, basement file boxes, suitcases in the attic and PURGE. This means a TON of sexy clothing is dumped, thrown in the garbage...PURGED! (M Sharina gnashes her teeth!) Good stuff too...Victoria Secret, Catherine Coatney, BCBG, fake nails, Wigs, bras, garters, stockings, breast forms, Make-up galore...and we ladies know how much that costs, even at the 5 and dime. PURGE! It's like getting rid of the toxins. A few weeks go by, maybe even YEARS, and then, the fingers start taping and the mind begins to fantasize because this is your thing. It's not like you haven't thought about crossdressing after the purge, the fetish just ends up at a crossroad. 
 
So you think it wouldn't hurt to just but one silky soft pair of panties. Those feel nice, but you'd really like that matching bra, and it's on sale but only for another day so you race down to "Vickies" and you buy the bra, breathe a sigh of relief it was still there, and the cycle of collecting and hiding continues until you realize you really need to share this with someone who understands. It doesn't mean you love your wife any less.
 
I'd say some people can stop acting out their fetish for one reason or another, but it's ALWAYS there. It goes on a back burner. You were either born with it, or an event happened which formed the need to act it out over and over again.
 
Sometimes a person cannot share it, so they share it with a person online, a kink website, a Kink Aware Therapist or a Dominatrix skilled in these fetishes. 
 
A dominatrix understands these things, and she understands you, so you may have your slice of life by compartmentalizing it. Either way, you work it out, because eventually, you will have a need to do so. It's important, it's WHO you are. 
 
Think of it as D/sneyland. You go on the ride of your choice, enjoy the amusement park, and then go back to your life, where there are good things there too. Find balance if you can't share it with your partner.
 
Just know that when you have a fetish, the inexplicable NEED and obsession for something is so great, that when you try to obliterate it from your life, it's still there. 
 
In awe of the courage,
M Sharina